'Mum, Dad, what is "sex"?'

'Errr..well' Mum starts, turning red and trying not to splutter, 'when two people love each other very much...'

Dad then tries after clearing his throat. 'You see, erm Tommy, we're animals at heart. And we have certain...urges'

Us Brits have never been very good at explaining ourselves, much less our feelings for one another which is why Dom and Geri's cards are perfect. Perhaps you think that by buying indulgent gifts for each other you might fare well in return - fair play. But as well as mushing it up Dom and Geri can strip (so to speak) to the basics. So if you only have one thing on your mind this Valentine's Day dare to bare (ooh err) yourself with a cheeky chappy card!

Why not take a peek at the over 18's Mature Humour section? Wrap up your gift with some cheeky wrapping paper and a naughty gift tag. Of course they'll know who you are, that is unless they don't in which case that is VERY CREEPY!

With personalised cards you can be blunt as you want on the front and be able to water it down with some sort of sentiment inside. The flurry of expressions across their face will be priceless. Unless the last one is anger, and then you run.

Here's a few to get you thinking...